Secret of the Sexy Technique
by MercenaryGrax
Summary: What if the Sexy Technique was more than it seemed? What if Naruto has been, in actuality, hiding his true gender from the people of Konoha this entire time? Follow the story of a female Naruto and see the craziness that shall ensue! Obviously a Fem Naruto fic.


**Chapter 1: Team 7's Bell Test – Naruki Style!**

It had been a few hours since Team 7 had been announced, and now Naruto sat in the vacant room with his teammates: Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. However, rather than sit with his teammates, the young blonde sat on the other side of the room with his head upon the desk. _Ugh. Not only am I stuck with one of Sasuke's precious fan girls and Sasuke himself, but we've got a Jonin sensei that just can't be bothered to be on time. Why couldn't I have been paired with somebody else? I'd gladly switch places with Kiba. Hinata-chan and Shino. They're both really nice, even though Hinata's crush on me is kinda creepy. She's nice and all, but if she knew my secret she'd see me in a whole new light for sure._

Before Naruto could think on the topic any further, the pink banshee on his team began to rant again. Putting his hands over his ears to try and drown out her voice, he was unfortunate enough to hear everything she was saying as her voice was far too loud to simply drown out in such a way. "Two hours! I can't believe we've been stuck waiting for two hours for this guy! Where the hell is he?!" When Sasuke piped up, Naruto breathed a sigh of relief and closed his eyes again. "Sakura, be quiet. As annoying as it is, shouting about it isn't going to help anything. He'll get here when he gets here."

Shortly afterwards, Sakura took her seat beside her precious 'Sasuke-kun' once more and clammed up…for the most part. Now she was simply humming to herself happily. _Thank you Sasuke! How the hell did a girl like her actually pass the tests? An embarrassment to kunoichi is what she is. Tsk, whatever._ With a shrug of his shoulders, Naruto quirked an eyebrow when he heard footsteps approaching him. Opening his left eye, the young blonde looked up and saw both Sasuke and Sakura standing over him. _Oh great._

"What?" He asked somewhat grumpily. "Why haven't you said anything yet? You're _never_ this quiet. Sure you've never really talked with either of us, but this is just strange, especially for somebody like you." Sakura stated with Sasuke nodding with a simple "Hn." to contribute to the conversation. In response to this, Naruto closed his eye again and yawned loudly. "Mmm. Being stuck with a fan girl that doesn't understand anything about being a true ninja and the most egotistical jackass in the class is bad enough as is. Nobody said anything about having to talk to the two of you as well. Whoever came up with the idea that the three of us would make a good team is a real moron."

Before Sakura and Sasuke could retort, the door opened and in walked their Jonin sensei. He was a man with one eye covered by his hitai-ate (Forehead Protector), spiky, silver hair, a mask covering the lower half of his face, and a rather lazy look about him overall. He turned to his team at the same time that they all turned to face him. The Jonin sensei and the Genin team looked at each other for a time before Kakashi smirked underneath his mask and pointed at the three of them. "So this is my team, huh? My first impression of you is: I'm not that impressed. But you've an opportunity to change that impression. Come, meet me on the roof and we'll get to know each other a bit better. I'll give you five minutes. Don't be late." Chuckling softly to himself, Kakashi vanished in a Konoha-Shunshin no Jutsu (Leaf Body Flicker Technique).

Sasuke was pissed at being insulted in such a way. Determined to prove to this fool of a Jonin why he was the Rookie of the Year, the Uchiha stormed off to make his way to the roof. Sakura watched him go and then turned to Naruto, glaring at him as she raised her fist. "This is your fault Naruto!" Swinging her fist at Naruto's head, she stopped suddenly when he simply disappeared. "W-Where'd he go?" Glancing about the room, the pink-haired girl couldn't find any trace of him. Grumbling to herself, Sakura gave up after a moment longer and chased after her darling 'Sasuke-kun'.

_**On the Roof**_

Kakashi raised his gaze from his book to Naruto when he suddenly appeared in a shunshin of his own. With a shrug of his shoulders, the Jonin returned his gaze to his book and started giggling perversely when he got to an especially juicy part in the story. "Oh-ho-ho! This is good. Oh man, I didn't even realize there was a position such as that!"

Hearing these comments, Naruto turned towards his new sensei and twitched angrily as he narrowed his eyes. _Fucking PERVERT! Just like so many other guys out there. Why am I stuck with a creep like this as my Jonin sensei? Do you hate me or something Jiji?!_ As soon as his thoughts were finished, a glint could be seen in Naruto's eyes as he reached into his kunai pouch and took hold of a rather sharp kunai. _I wonder if anyone would actually mind if I cut off my new sensei's testicles. He should have the decency to at least put away such smut until he's alone. Reading it in front of children! Ugh!_

As Naruto began creeping closer and closer to Kakashi, his sensei seeming to be none the wiser to what was about to happen to him, the door to the roof opened and both Sasuke and Sakura stepped out into the sunlight. Twitching angrily, Naruto quickly slipped away his kunai and took a seat. Huffing angrily, he turned to glare away from her teammates. _Damn! So close!_

Sasuke and Sakura sat close to Naruto and shot him curious glances. _How the hell did Naruto-baka get up here before us? That doesn't make any sense!_ Sakura thought as she stared at him. Meanwhile, Sasuke was thinking something different. _Was the dobe just about to stab our sensei? I swear I saw __**something**__, but I can't be sure._

Kakashi sighed and slipped away his book before patting his pants and eye smiling at his Genin team. "Good. Now that we're all here, let's begin. Go ahead and introduce yourselves. I'd like to get to know my team a bit better." Sakura chose to speak up in response to this before he could even pick one of them to speak up first. "Sensei, is there anything in particular you would like to know? Perhaps you can introduce yourself first so we know what you'd like to hear from us?"

Naruto sighed quietly and narrowed his eyes as he watched a bird fly around in the sky above. _What the hell does it matter? Just speak up and say something. Anything should do!_ Kakashi shrugged and slipped away his book before turning to Sakura. "Fine, fine. I'll start us off." Taking a quick breath in and letting it out slowly, the Jonin sensei smirked underneath his mask again and nodded once more. "My name is Kakashi Hatake, your new Jonin sensei. I like a variety of things, and I dislike many things. My hobbies are none of your business and my dreams…don't really matter, now do they?"

While Sasuke and Sakura deadpanned, Naruto chuckled softly to himself and shook his head. "And all we learned from that is your name. Ah well." Sasuke and Sakura nodded in agreement before looking to their Jonin sensei again. Kakashi eye smiled and nodded as well before pointing to Sakura. "Okay, now you go Pinky. Tell us about yourself. Likes, dislikes, whatever."

Sakura fumed inwardly at the nickname, but kept her cool somehow and spoke up. "My _name_ is Sakura Haruno. I like various kinds of sweets and…" Sakura shot a quick glance at Sasuke, blushed, and squealed like the fan girl she is before quickly bringing her hands up and giggling happily. Turning back to Kakashi, she nodded and got back on topic. "I dislike all those other girls that keep trying to get in my way and I especially HATE Naruto!" Nodding proudly at that, she shot a nasty glare at Naruto before huffing and continuing on. "Let's see, my hobbies are games, reading, and…" Glancing at Sasuke again, she giggled happily and turned forward _again_. "Finally, my dream is…" Looking at her crush once more, she blushed and closed her eyes, smiling even brighter before finally nodding her head and getting lost in her fantasies.

Sasuke shivered in response to all of this as he scooted away from his pink-haired fan girl. Kakashi and Naruto sweat dropped and shook their heads. _Kami-sama, why did you curse me so? The people of this village hate me enough as is; now you stick me with a crazy fan girl that hates me for no reason at all? She's fucking nuts!_ Naruto thought to himself as he yawned and glanced off towards the Hokage Tower, wanting nothing at all to do with Sasuke and Sakura right now.

Kakashi shook his head and pointed at Sasuke. "You next Broody." At this, Sasuke's left eyebrow twitched to the point it looked like he was about to have a seizure and Sakura was about to blow up on her new sensei. However, before either could say anything, Naruto broke out into a fit of laughter and began wiping imaginary tears out of his eyes. "Ahhh, you got that one right Kakashi-sensei. That's all Sasuke ever does is brood and sulk. Oh, and on top of that, he acts like he's the most important thing and/or person in the entire world. 'I am the mighty Uchiha. Nobody is better than me. All should bow before the mighty Uchiha!' Blah blah blah. Ahhh, why did I never think of that nickname before now? I've thought of 'Emo King', 'Captain Arrogance', 'Teme', and so many others, but 'Broody' just never came to me. Thanks sensei."

Kakashi blinked a few times and shrugged his shoulders. "Umm…you're welcome? At least somebody liked it. These two look as if they're about to blow up." At this, Naruto glanced over and, upon seeing his teammates angered faces, simply shrugged. "Who cares? These two have always treated me like crap. Whoever came up with this particular team was a true moron. Sasuke and I have never gotten along, and Sakura's always beating me with her fists and yelling at me, saying crap about being 'inferior to her precious Sasuke-kun' and bullshit like that. Look in their eyes sensei and tell me they don't think that _he's_ better than you. You're going to have way too much trouble trying to teach these two, I can guarantee it."

The silver-haired Jonin looked from Naruto to the two in question and frowned as he observed them carefully. After a time, he let out a sigh and shook his head. "While I agree with you, I think we should move on. Broody, stop glaring at your teammate and speak up. We don't have all damn day for you to fawn over your male fantasy lover."

At this, all three of his Genin students looked horrified as they glanced between Sasuke and Naruto and then back to their sensei. Finally, Sasuke managed to compose himself, despite being very red in the face from trying to control his anger. Taking a few deep breaths, he decided to finally speak up. "Fine. My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I like few things and dislike _many_ things." At this, he glared at Sakura first and then at Naruto. Seeing this, Naruto stuck his tongue out at Sasuke and pulled his left, bottom eyelid down in an effort to gross out his egotistical jackass of a teammate.

Shrugging this off, Sasuke glared back at Kakashi and folded his hands beneath his chin. "My hobbies are training and keeping to myself, _away_ from idiots like these two. Besides that, I guess I enjoy taking walks. Finally, I don't really have any dreams. What I _do_ have is an ambition or a goal if you will. Dreams are for those foolish idiots who will never truly attain their life's desires. What I aim for is something that I _will_ make happen! There is somebody that I aim to kill. After that…I will restore my clan. That is all."

Sakura looked like she was in the process of trying to decide how to feel. Her face conveyed a variety of emotions that ranged from her usual fan girl happiness to the horror that her precious Sasuke-kun actually couldn't stand her at all. Naruto on the other hand simply scoffed and turned away from the boy who now had the new nickname of 'Broody'. _Fucking idiot thinks he's so damn cool. Jiji, I swear if you were the one to come up with this team I'm going to drop ten bottles of that special itching powder down your damn pants!_ Finally, Kakashi was simply shaking his head and sighing heavily. _Oh goodie. So far I have a fan girl that probably has no skills whatsoever and a boy with a stick up his ass. What's next?_

Lowering his head, Kakashi raised his hand again and pointed at Naruto. "So far I can tell this team is going to need a _lot_ of work. You're next Blondie. Tell us about yourself." Naruto, hearing this, glanced back at his team and shook his head for a moment. _You have _no_ idea Kakashi-sensei. I actually kind of pity you right now._ With a shrug of his shoulders, the blonde-haired young man nodded quietly and closed his eyes. "Fine, fine. My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like a lot of things I guess. Ramen, the idea of actually making friends with somebody…yeah, I don't really have any friends. Only people that actually seem to care about me at all are Old Man Teuchi and his daughter Ayame, and Jiji, you guys know him as Hokage-sama. Oh, wait! Iruka-sensei seems to care too. That's four people at least."

Naruto lowered his head and shrugged. Sakura simply glared at him as she didn't seem to actually care one way or another about her new teammate, and Sasuke was just glaring at him as he always did. "I like other things too, but it really doesn't matter. I dislike the time it takes for ramen to cook. I also hate Sasuke and all his precious fan girls. I don't even have to do anything and they all treat me like crap. How is that even fair?" Sighing heavily, Naruto looked off towards the Hokage Tower and frowned. "I dislike other stuff too, but whatever. Hobbies are next right? Hmm…"

The blonde lowered his head and closed his eyes again. "I guess you could say my hobbies include taking care of my plants, training, and…well, I can't really tell you any of my other hobbies." At this point, Kakashi chose to interrupt. "Why can't you tell us what your other hobbies are Naruto?" Looking back up at his sensei, Naruto shook his head and looked down at the floor again. "I just…can't. Not without…permission." At this, his teammates and sensei were looking at him with curious expressions, not really sure what he really meant by such a thing. Still, shrugging his shoulders, Kakashi decided to let it be and waved for Naruto to continue on with his introduction.

Sighing softly, Naruto shook his head and smiled softly. "My dreams? Well…one of them that pretty much everybody knows is that I'd like to become Hokage someday. Jiji inspired me so much, and it's something that's driven me to get as far as I have already. But there's more to it than that." Shaking his head, Naruto looked into Kakashi's eye for a moment before looking to his teammates. Seeing them narrowing their eyes at him, the blonde sighed and glanced away again. "I have another dream…but it's pointless."

Kakashi frowned again at this and reached out, patting his new student on the shoulder. "Come on. Tell us what your other dream is. It can't be too bad, right?" Sakura chose to speak up as well. "Yeah, come on Naruto-baka, just tell us what your other dream is and finish up already." Kakashi shook his head at this and grumbled underneath his breath about inconsiderate fan girls.

Naruto looked at his sensei, completely ignoring his other teammates, and frowned. Casting his eyes downwards, the blonde-haired Genin smiled sadly. "My other dream? I just want to be able to be my true self already. I'm…tired of having to pretend to be something I'm just…not." Sasuke scoffed at this and Sakura decided to voice what the two of them were thinking. "What? Did you finally realize that you aren't cut out to be a ninja Naruto? Good. You can leave anytime you want and leave the real ninja work to Sasuke-kun and I. You couldn't amount to anything anyways."

Grumbling, Naruto looked away again and gnashed his teeth together. "Are we done yet Kakashi-sensei? I'm…sick of being stuck with these assholes." Kakashi frowned and nodded. "Introductions are over. Since you're so eager to get away from your new teammates Naruto, I'll get on with it." Looking around at all three of his Genin students, Kakashi eye smiled and nodded his head. "You three are to meet me at Training Ground #3 tomorrow at 9:00 AM. There, you will take your 'test'."

Before Kakashi could even finish, Sakura stood up and began to yell. "What?! But we've already finished all our damn tests! Why do we have to take another one?!" Naruto and Kakashi both sighed while Sasuke showed genuine interest in what Kakashi would have to say. Rubbing the back of his head, the Jonin sensei eye smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "It's quite simple Sakura. This will be a test to see if you are truly ready to become Genin. Before you interrupt me _again_, listen!"

Kakashi shot a glare Sakura's way that instantly shut her up. The pink-haired girl sat down again and sweated nervously under his glare. "Good. Now, as I was saying before you tried to interrupt me. The academy tests were simply designed to determine who actually had the _potential_ to become true Genin. Many of the graduates of your class will fail these next tests. These are designed to weed out those who just can't cut it. Those who fail these tests will be sent back to the academy and will _not_ become Genin. If you think you can cut it and become my Genin _team_, meet me at Training Ground #3 at 9:00 in the morning."

At this, the Jonin turned and prepared to leave. However, before he left, Kakashi turned and glanced back at his team. "Oh, and one final piece of advice. Don't eat breakfast. I can guarantee you that you'll just lose it tomorrow. Prepare yourselves accordingly." Smirking underneath his mask, the Jonin sensei vanished in another Konoha-Shunshin, leaving the three fresh graduates on the roof to _hopefully_ discuss things for tomorrow.

Naruto sighed heavily and shook his head. "And that's just great. We're definitely going to fail tomorrow's little test." At this, Sakura and Sasuke both shot him harsh glares and rose to their feet. Quickly approaching him, Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the collar of his jacket and hoisted him into the air. "What the hell are you trying to say _Dobe_? I'm an Uchiha, I _can't_ fail."

The blonde laughed at this and shook his head as he glared down at Sasuke. "Oh yeah? Try telling that to our Jonin sensei. Being the last of the 'great Uchiha clan' won't mean squat tomorrow during the test. I guarantee it!" Narrowing his eyes, Naruto suddenly vanished from Sasuke's grip and appeared behind him. Gripping his teammate by the shoulder, Naruto squeezed hard and brought the boy to his knees screaming. "We're supposed to be a team now, but we can't fucking stand each other! Unless we can actually work together, we're screwed. Considering how late he was today, I'll assume he'll be late tomorrow. Eat breakfast…"

Glaring back at his other teammate, Naruto's eyes screamed at her to just dare and try to argue with him before he turned back to the boy he held in his vice-like grip. "As I said, _eat breakfast_ and arrive early. Take the rest of today to think about the test and what we know so far. Think about what Iruka-sensei said before he announced our teams. Think about our new Jonin sensei. Think about what the point of this test could be. I'll arrive on time at 9:00 AM at the designated meeting place for our team. I'll be waiting there for you two. If you actually decide to put aside your freaking problems with me, we might actually be able to pull off a win by some fucking MIRACLE! Otherwise…I hope the two of you are prepared for another year or two in the academy because you're too damn stuck up and stupid to think about anything other than you, _Sasuke_."

Releasing the Uchiha, Naruto turned and walked past Sakura. "Get over your fan girl tendencies or you'll just bring us both down _Sakura_. That's the only warning I'll give you." With that, Naruto performed the necessary hand seal for his own Shunshin no Jutsu (Body Flicker Technique) and disappeared off of the roof before either of his teammates could even turn to look at him.

As soon as Naruto was gone, Sakura screamed at him before rushing over to Sasuke and checking on him. "Sasuke-kun! Are you okay? I'll kill that baka!" Sasuke slapped the pink-haired girl's hand away and rose to his feet, quickly rubbing his right shoulder and snarling angrily. "Just…leave me alone. Go home and prepare yourself for tomorrow. I don't care if you eat breakfast or not, just don't slow me down tomorrow. That dobe doesn't know what the hell he's talking about." With that, he walked off and left Sakura alone on the roof of the academy.

Left on her own, Sakura clenched her fists and glared off in the direction Naruto had disappeared. "You baka! You just have to ruin everything, don't you?!" And with that, Sakura rushed off as well. As soon as she was gone, Kakashi shook his head from a couple of rooftops away. _Well this is disappointing. Even after Naruto tried to give them some advice…in his own, 'unique' way, they still refused to listen to him. At the rate this is going, I don't think they're even going to pass tomorrow. Guess all I can do is wait and see._ Shrugging his shoulders, Kakashi disappeared once again.

_**Hokage's Office – Naruto & Hiruzen**_

Naruto was currently seated in the chair directly across from Hiruzen in his office. The two of them were on opposite sides of his desk, and both of them were watching each other carefully. Finally, after having enough of the silence that the two of them had shared for some time since Naruto arrived and the privacy seals had been put up, the blonde began to speak. "Jiji…please, _please_ can I drop the disguise?! I'm tired of being stuck like this. It's…uncomfortable. I just want to be myself. I'm tired of the weird looks I get when I go shopping with Yugao-oneesan for…clothes and other…t-things. I just want to be myself Jiji. Please?"

The Sandaime Hokage sighed and took a few more puffs of his pipe, letting the smoke cloud the air between himself and Naruto for a moment before shaking his head. "I'm sorry Naruki, but I can't permit it just yet. Maybe…maybe later. But right now? You're not ready. I'm sorry." At this, Naruto lowered his head and sighed. Nodding his head, Naruto let out a deep sigh and smiled softly. "I…understand Jiji. Thank you. I think I'm going to go prepare myself for tomorrow's test. I'll eat at Teuchi's place, then head home. I dunno. I don't see much of a point. Sasuke and Sakura are hopeless. They won't work with me at all, and I don't see Sasuke working with Sakura at all…we're practically guaranteed to fail tomorrow." With a shrug of his shoulders, Naruto rose from the chair and bowed to the Hokage. "Thanks for your time Jiji. I'll get out of your hair now."

Before Naruto could leave, the Hokage rose from his seat and smiled as he approached the blonde-haired youngling. Wrapping him in his arms, Hiruzen Sarutobi shook his head and chuckled softly. "Don't give up so easily Naruki. I trust that things will somehow work out and this team will be able to move forward. You'll figure something out, I'm sure of it. They may not like it, but your teammates will have to see the truth behind what you said. As for your secret…perhaps someday soon you'll be able to reveal your true gender, okay? I can't make any promises, but if things play out the right way, you may just be able to show people your true self soon. For now, stick to the identity given to you and continue on as you have been. Don't go acting too reckless now, alright Naruki?"

When the young boy nodded his head, Hiruzen grinned and patted him on the head. "Good. Now go on. I want you to come pay me a visit tomorrow and tell me how everything went. Got it?" When Naruto nodded again, the Hokage grinned and shooed him out the door. "Go on. Enjoy the rest of your day and get plenty of rest. I'm counting on you to pass Kakashi's test tomorrow. Don't let me down Naruki." And with that, Naruto and Hiruzen bid each other well and a kind farewell before they parted and Naruto left the room.

Yes, young Naruto was in fact a young woman named Naruki. Her true identity was known only to a select few. In fact, the only ones who truly knew of Naruki's true gender and name were the Sandaime Hokage himself and the violet-haired ANBU named Yugao Uzuki. Nobody else was permitted to know of Naruki's secret and for good reason as well. To keep things short, Naruki's secret was so well kept for her protection. After all, should her true gender be found out, there's no telling what those dastardly civilians and bastard shinobi would do. Of course, both Hiruzen and Yugao could fathom a guess. But enough of that, let's move on with the story shall we?

_**The Next Day – Time of the Bell Test – Training Ground #3**_

Naruki had tried to talk with her teammates peacefully during the time they had to themselves in an effort to make peace and come up with some kind of plan for whatever the test might be, but sadly it just didn't work out. Her teammates were stubborn as mules. Well, at least one of them was.

Because Sasuke believed himself to be the shiniest coin in the bag or some such thing, he absolutely refused to listen. Sakura, being the #1 Sasuke-kun fan girl had obviously chosen to follow his lead. As a result, Naruki's words continued to fall on deaf ears. Eventually, the girl, still disguised as a boy as per means currently unknown, sighed heavily and scooted away from them. Deciding it best to at least do whatever she could to ensure they passed, even if it was most likely impossible for her to do so, the blonde began going through her tools and glanced around the area.

As she did this, Sasuke cast a curious glance over at her and tried to figure out what his teammate was doing. _Got your back turned to us now Naruto? Probably planning to pull some kind of prank on our sensei. Way to go Dobe. You're going to get us sent back to the academy for sure._ Sakura looked between her crush and her other teammate and sighed. _He's always paying more attention to the baka than to me. Why?!_

As Sakura came closer, Naruto glanced back and shook his head in disappointment. _Coming to yell at me again. Fuck it._ With a shrug, Naruto stood up, grabbed his things, and disappeared from his spot to begin placing the traps he had thought up that might help them with their test. As soon as he was gone, Sakura stomped her foot on the ground and punched one of the nearby stumps. "That stupid baka!"

It had been some time since Naruto had placed his traps and returned to his teammates' sides. Sitting back down, he glanced up when Kakashi made his appearance just moments later. Sighing, Naruto quickly covered his ears so he could drown out as much of Sakura's screeching as he could. "You're late again Kakashi-sensei! Why couldn't you be on time for once?! Naruto-baka was pissing us off!"

Kakashi looked over at Naruto, who was simply staring right back at him, with a curious gaze. Shrugging his shoulders, he hopped off of the stump and quickly reached into his bag. "Okay, okay. Whatever. I'm here now, you're all here, let's get on with it." The silver-haired Jonin rummaged around for just a bit longer before he pulled out a small alarm clock and propped it up atop the middle stump and winding it up to the right time. "I'm giving you three until noon to complete your test. And before you decide to try and interrupt me Sakura, stop, think, and listen. I'm getting to the point, so be calm."

Reaching into his pouch, the Jonin pulled out two silver bells and dangled them in front of his team's faces. "This is your test." Tying the two bells to his belt at his side, Kakashi sighed and looked all three of them in the eyes, one at a time. "Two bells, three of you. Your goal is to obtain both bells. The one that is left without goes without their lunch for the day _and_ gets sent back to the academy. To top that off, I'll tie the loser to one of these posts. Fun, isn't it?"

Eye smiling at them, Kakashi soon leapt back when Sasuke threw a punch at him and tried to grab the bells. Raising a hand, the Jonin sensei pointed a finger at him and smirked. "I didn't say start yet _little boy_. Calm yourself, sit tight, and wait until I've told you that you can begin. Besides, try looking a bit closer next time and you might not end up with such a wound." Smirking underneath his mask, Kakashi watched as Sasuke's cheek began to bleed from a cut the Jonin inflicted with a kunai now clutched tight in his right hand.

Naruto shook his head and groaned. _Idiot. That's what you get for acting before the test has even started._ Sasuke was fuming by now and Sakura was glaring daggers at her sensei for damaging her Sasuke-kun. Kakashi, sighing softly, quickly wiped his blade of the blood on it and slipped it away once more. "Now, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me _Sasuke_…if you want to get even **one** of these bells, you're going to need to come after me with the intent to kill. Use whatever you can think of to get yourself a bell. Now you may begin." With a smirk adorning his face, Kakashi watched as his three Genin students disappeared from the clearing. _Good. Seems they understand the basics of stealth and observation tactics then. I wonder who will strike first._

A short time later, after waiting and observing for about five minutes, Naruto stepped out into the clearing with a smirk on his face. Sakura and Sasuke immediately face palmed themselves when they saw him so casually strolling out into the clearing like the idiot they thought him to be. _What the hell does that dobe think he's doing?!_

Kakashi simply observed his first challenger and smirked to himself. "I see. So, you're the first one that chooses to challenge me? Mind if I ask why you're acting so confident now little Naruto-kun? From what I've observed thus far, you seem like the only intelligent one of the group. This really doesn't seem like you."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders and simply smiled. "You know…despite everything I've tried, the two of them just won't listen to me. It didn't take too long to understand the point of your little 'test' Kakashi-sensei. Jiji told me before about how he trained his team in the past, so you couldn't really trick me with this. But if I say anything, Sakura and Sasuke won't listen to me. They never have before, so why would they now?" Frowning at this, Naruto froze in his steps and lowered his head. "The best I can do is try to take the bells now and see what happens from here."

Kakashi frowned and nodded his head. "Before we begin, answer me this Naruto-kun: What will you do if you actually manage to take the bells from me?" At this, Naruto raised his head and grinned. "I'll hand 'em over to Sakura and the teme. Why should I keep them when the point of this test is teamwork? Maybe if they actually bother to accept the bells, they'll get the message. But…I'm not going to get my hopes up. Sasuke would refuse a bell for sure, and Sakura…tch. I don't know. But yeah, I won't keep the bells Kakashi-sensei if that's what you're really asking."

Satisfied with the answer, Kakashi eye smiled and nodded his head. "Alright. Show me what you can do Naruto-kun. Don't hold back." When Naruto smirked again, Kakashi frowned and tried to determine what the young Genin would do. Sighing softly, Naruto shook his head and put his hands on his hips as he stared upon his sensei. "You should really be careful what you wish for Kakashi-sensei. I've only had the chance to observe a few of your habits and tendencies and I may not truly know what kind of person you are, but I've seen juuust enough to come up with a decent plan of action to take. I hope you're ready for this. **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)**!"

Kakashi and the others watched as two dozen shadow clones suddenly poofed into existence in the clearing, all of them forming a circle around the sensei. The spiky-haired individual nodded his head and whistled in appreciation. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, eh? That's a B-rank technique. Very good Naruto-kun, but something like this won't be enough to defeat me." Naruto sighed and shook his head. "I'm not done yet Kakashi-sensei. Just watch. What you're about to see next qualifies as an A-rank technique, dattebayo!"

Intrigued, the Jonin sensei watched on as Naruto went through four hand seals. Curious, Kakashi continued to watch on as Naruto announced the name of his original technique. "**Hāremu no Jutsu (Harem Technique)**!" Soon, all Naruto's visible in the field were transformed into nude, adult, female versions of himself barely covered by wisps of smoke. Kakashi's visible eye bulged and he glanced around for some means of escape before the technique took hold and his perverted side caused him to lose this 'battle'.

Each of the 'Naruko's' smirked as they closed in on Kakashi from all sides. "As I said Kakashi-sensei, I've been observing you. You read the same kind of smut that Jiji does. This technique has helped deal with perverts in the past, and it'll work on you as well. Don't bother fighting it. Ebisu-baka fell for it too you know? Even Jiji's fallen to my Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique). It may seem like a pretty stupid technique to most people, but it certainly has its uses, wouldn't you agree _Kaka-sensei_?" By now, each of the clones was rubbing up against the Jonin sensei of Team 7 and he eventually was forced to use the Kawarimi no Jutsu (Body Replacement Technique) to replace himself with a log just to escape the 'powerful' technique.

Pouting, each of the Naruko's out in the clearing suddenly poofed out of existence. Finally, the last one smirked and glanced around. "Oh Kaka-sensei! You fell right into my trap. Enjoy!" With that cryptic statement, the final Naruko suddenly poofed out of existence leaving the field bare once more. Kakashi's eye widened as he was suddenly forced to avoid a variety of traps. Flying kunai traps, log traps, explosive tags, there were so many traps set up throughout the surrounding forest of Training Ground #3 and the Jonin sensei was forced to avoid them all.

However, as he was doing this, Kakashi barely noticed the _real_ Naruto suddenly appear from underneath him and make a grab for the bells. At the same time, Sasuke suddenly rushed him from the front, aiming to get a hold of at least one of the bells for himself before the dobe actually managed to obtain one! Snarling, he swung another punch aimed right at Kakashi's face. When that was caught, the silver-haired Jonin suddenly felt something hard hit him in the side that forced him to release the boy.

Jumping backwards, Kakashi faced all three of his students and sighed heavily. "Damn. I certainly wasn't expecting this. Are you three actually going to cooperate with each other now?" Sasuke snarled at that and shook his head. "Hell no! I refuse to let the dobe get ahead of me!" Sakura and Naruto sighed at this, having already met each other moments ago and agreeing to try and help get the bells together while Kakashi was being assaulted by the Hāremu no Jutsu in the clearing. Still, despite the fact that Sasuke was _still_ refusing to work with them, the two of them made a silent agreement with each other to back up their stubborn teammate.

Naruto created thirteen shadow clones and sent them off to surround Kakashi once more. However, this time, instead of focusing on the Hāremu no Jutsu again, he was actually preparing some different techniques to use against their sensei while Sakura attempted to support Sasuke to the best of her abilities. When both of his teammates were knocked back, Naruto and his clones unleashed their techniques. "**Earth Release: Earth Shaking Palm**!"

Half of his clones slammed their hands to the ground and created quite the earthquake, powerful enough to make the trees all around them quake while Sasuke and Sakura struggled to maintain their footing. Kakashi was jostled around somewhat, but wasn't knocked off of his feet. As he prepared to counter, Naruto and the rest of his clones grinned and chose that moment to unleash their techniques. "**Jūha Shō (Beast Tearing Palm)**! **Futon: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)**!"

The combined techniques forced Kakashi to leap away, but in the process the strings that kept his bells secured to his belt were cut by the first technique. At the same time, the bells were blown right into Sasuke's and Sakura's hands by the second technique. With a smirk visible on his face, Naruto dispelled his shadow clones and gave his sensei the 'V' for victory sign with his fingers. "Looks like we win sensei! Nice try though."

Kakashi landed down in between them and sighed as he checked his belt. "Damn. Despite the fact that Sasuke wasn't cooperating with you, you still managed to get the bells and did exactly as you said you would: you gave the bells to them. Great job. I have to admit that I highly underestimated you three. However…"

_**Moments Later – Back at the Clearing**_

Naruto grumbled and simply lowered his head to sulk. "It would make much more sense for Sasuke to be tied to the damn post. He refused to work with us, so in a sense he failed the test, not Sakura and me!" At this, Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto and turned away to continue eating his lunch in peace. Sighing heavily, the blonde-haired young man shook his head. "This just isn't fair."

Sakura, seeing her teammate's plight and hearing his stomach grumbling as it was, let out a heavy sigh and frowned. _I guess I'd better do something. We passed the test, Kaka-sensei said so himself, and yet he still tied Naruto to the post and is planning to send him back to the academy. As much as I hate it, Naruto's the reason we got the bells to begin with. Even he doesn't deserve this._

Frowning, Sakura looked over at her other teammate to see if he was planning to do anything. When it appeared that he wasn't even going to offer his thanks, the pink-haired girl frowned and stood up. Walking over to Naruto, she smiled softly at him and picked some food from her bento box and held it out for Naruto. "Come on Naruto. You…really helped us out back there. We may not get along all that well, but you don't deserve this. The least I can do is this. Now open up and say 'ahhh'." Giggling to herself at that comment, the pink-haired girl watched as her teammate opened his mouth.

Plopping the food onto his tongue, she watched as he chewed and swallowed moments later. "Well, how is it Naruto?" When the blonde-haired young man grinned and nodded his head a few seconds later, she smiled brightly. "Good. I'm glad you like it. I made it myself. Now come on and let's get you fed." For a time, Sakura continued to feed her blonde-haired teammate.

A short while later, Sasuke let out a heavy sigh and looked over at Naruto and Sakura. "Naruto. Sakura. S-Sorry. I was being far too stubborn. You were right before Naruto when you said we were meant to do this as a team. So…if you want my lunch too, you can have it. I couldn't have gotten the bells by myself. And I wouldn't have just given them away the way you did. You two are right. You're not the one that deserves to be stuck there."

As Sasuke went to stand, they all suddenly jumped and screamed when Kakashi appeared before them once more with a terrifying look upon his face. "What did I tell you?! This was punishment for failing to get a bell. How dare you go against my words?!"

At this, Sasuke smirked and shook his head. "Enough of that Kakashi-sensei. Took me a while to realize it, but we're a team now. The whole team dynamics thing is going to take some getting used to, but who cares? When one teammate is in trouble, it's our duty to help him or her. So go ahead, do your worst. I don't care."

Sakura nodded and grinned at the same time. "That's right. Without Naruto, we would have failed that first part for sure. We weren't acting as a team, and we would have never gotten the bells without Naruto's quick thinking. And…his selflessness…" Sighing, she looked into Naruto's eyes and patted him on the shoulder, offering him a gentle smile. "We may not get along all that well, but Naruto's right when he says we're meant to work as a team. We're a really bad team right now, but we'll get better. Just…give us a chance Kakashi-sensei. I promise you that we won't let you down."

Naruto looked between his teammates and then stared into his sensei's eye and shrugged. "They're right. We may not like each other, but we're a team now. I'm not about to abandon my team. Even if it means I have to go back to the academy, it's better than letting them down. So…do your worst Kaka-sensei. I'm ready for it."

The silver-haired Jonin eye smiled suddenly and grinned at them. "Great! You all pass. Congratulations!" Reaching out, he patted each of them on the head in turn before untying Naruto and smirking at him as he rushed to eat his own packed lunch. "I'm glad you're starting to understand how things work, all three of you. I won't bother going into specifics, but I, myself, had to go through this same thing back in the day when I was first starting out with my fellow Genin. It was a tough experience, and it took me far too long to understand the lesson being taught, but it's stuck with me all my life."

Looking down at his three Genin, the Copy Ninja grinned and chuckled softly to himself. "There's one important thing I would like to convey to all three of you. I hope that you will understand its meaning, as I find it to be a rather important lesson. It's…something a very precious person once said to me before he died. In the ninja world, those who break the rules are trash, that's true, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash. Do you understand?"

Each of his three Genin took a moment to think over the words that their sensei had just spoken and slowly began to nod after a time. Afterwards, Kakashi eye smiled again and patted their heads once more. "Good. Now, take the rest of the day off to do whatever you want. Spend time together, talk, discuss today's events, or just go on and do your own things separate from one another. Tomorrow we'll take on our first mission and begin your training. Make sure to arrive at the same time. Don't be late." Before Sakura could yell at him to counter what he said, Kakashi was already gone in another Konoha-Shunshin.

Sighing, she turned to her teammates and shrugged. "Is…there anything you two would like to do together after we've finished our lunches?" Sasuke simply said "Hn." and walked off with his lunch in his hands and bag over one shoulder. Naruto on the other hand turned with noodles hanging from his mouth and grinned as he slurped them all down, thoroughly grossing the pink-haired girl out. "F-Forget I asked. See you tomorrow Naruto." Waving good-bye to each other, Sakura rushed off to get as far away from her disgusting teammate as possible. Shrugging, Naruto went back to eating his lunch and savoring every single bite. One thing was for sure, this team was going to be a rather interesting one, especially if things continued on as they were.

**A/N: It should be obvious already from how this first chapter is written, but I'll say it anyways. When Naruki is in a group and not off in her own little world, she will be referred to as Naruto both in and out of conversation. When she is on her own or being left alone, she will be referred to as Naruki. It will be this way until her true gender and name are finally revealed.**

**Now, this is meant to be mostly a humor/adventure fic. A pairing is still undecided, and I'm unsure if I'll even continue this fic here or not. It really just depends on the kind of reception this chapter and any others I upload here to receive. Personally, I hope this particular fic goes over well. Then again, y'never know. *shrugs***

**Finally, for those of you wondering what's next, I am working on 3 new chapters of Naruto: Mercy of the Shinigami. Chapter 4 is going to end up being fairly intense, so I hope you're all eager for that. I know I've kept everyone waiting for some time for a new chapter for that story, and for that I apologize. It should be done either later today or tomorrow, I'm not too sure. It honestly depends on the events that transpire throughout the day. It also depends on if I can clear my head or not. After all, I'm running really low on my medication and I've been out of a few of my prescription meds for a couple of months now. Overall, not a good situation, especially when one of those particular meds tends to help me think clearly. For now, I'm going to relax and hope you enjoy this first chapter of Secret of the Sexy Technique. Thank you.**


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